Celebrating our Failures

Yep, you read that title correctly…we celebrate our successes, but really let’s celebrate our failures as moms and dads too!

But before I get into that, an update from the last post – first of all, I was BLOWN AWAY by all your support and love. The transition was actually easier than I expected – Maggie loves daycare and work has been pretty good thanks to some very awesome co-workers. I’m very grateful for all their support and for making me laugh!

Now, on to today’s fun Saturday topic: FAILURES! In this social media age, we post lots of the good stuff – but not always the bad. It’s the ultimate filter…I’m a million times guilty of it too but occasionally I see those bad times…and it’s kind of refreshing – especially when you are struggling yourself…#miserylovescompany. Here are a few of mine!

  • Tucker broke his paw running around with my shoe (because I’m an undisciplined mom and let him run around with my shoes) and whiffed jumping on the bed. He’s been on restricted activity and a cast for almost 4 weeks now and we probably have another 2-3 weeks before the toe and the sores he got from his splint heals.  I feel super guilty and have spent a lot of time scrolling through Instagram looking for other dogs with broken paws (#brokenpaw).
  • Almost every morning once I get Maggie ready for daycare and strapped into the car I think of the scene in Bad Mons where they are running late to school. Now, daycare doesn’t have a set start time for infants, but of course, I have work and there are definitely times I am running late. I have left her milk in the car and have had to go back for it and I know its only a matter of time before I actually forget it at home.  Oh, and on our first week of daycare, I put my purse down on some kids wet artwork in the hall and when I realized that, said “OH SHIT” right in front of a 4 year old and the teacher. #WinningMomMoment
  • Maggie doesn’t have a set bed time. Sometimes she falls asleep at 8, sometimes 10.  I know she’s only four months old but I’d like to start something consistent and that’s just not happening these days. And sometimes, even though I try not to, I nurse to sleep. Because sometimes SHE NEEDS TO NAP AND JUST WON’T WITHOUT SOME MILK.
  • She currently has a cold AND pink eye. Now, I know this isn’t really my fault but it just makes me sad.
  • Sometimes I feel  pulled into eight different directions and I don’t have adequate time for all the relationships in my life. I am especially sorry to my husband for this one. Our conversations most days involve the words ‘diaper change,’ ‘pump parts’ ‘dinner’ ‘Tucker to the vet’ ‘daycare’ and there hasn’t been enough sentences that start with  ‘let’s go do something fun.’

These may not be what you consider failures or bad things, but to me, they can be. And I am sure there are more coming down the pike — just wait until the first daycare thing I can’t attend — but you know what?

I’m having a dance party for all these failures.

Why?

Because at the end of all these failing moments, I still have a great life. I still have a baby that smiles, a dog who is so sweet, and a husband who is already cracking Dad jokes. I have empathy – I have no problem sharing my failure stories for someone who needs to commiserate.  I have no problem making fun of myself, and frankly, I like to look back on the times I totally f-ed up and say ‘see I survived that and learned from it!’

So share those bad moments or failures freely – we are all in this together!

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The Truth about Maternity Leave

F5121757-258F-49CA-A4A3-68DB0A0BC9B0My maternity leave is coming to an end —  and I am about to venture into the world of working mom. The tears are coming fast these days and while I know Magnolia will be at a terrific daycare, the thought of not being with her every hour is heart wrenching. I can truly say I packed a lot into this maternity leave once I became comfortable with everything,  but that’s not to say maternity leave has always been easy.

First, I’m a multi-tasker – I’ve been known to juggle multiple projects at once, but you know, when you have a baby that all goes out the window and that was a hard adjustment for me. I’d sit and breastfeed and try to read twitter or watch TV, but anything more than what was on Bravo or the Today Show totally toasted my mind. Also, now that the baby is almost 12 weeks old, she’s not sleeping as much during the day (or at all, hello team #nonap) so trying to do something that takes longer than a few minutes can be challenging. There are some days I feel like I’ve gotten a lot done and then I realize, nope, that to-do list is still a mile long.

The other thing I had to get used to during maternity leave was doing a lot of things by myself with the baby.  After my husband went back to work,  I was terrified. I was only about two weeks postpartum and everything still scared me and/or was hard for me – changing diapers, putting onesies on, and the car seat – oh how I cried about the car seat and making sure she was in it properly. I was still sore from giving birth and the carpal tunnel I had in my hands during pregnancy made things difficult. I was nervous how Tucker would handle everything. And I was tired.

There were some days that my husband would come home and I would give him the baby and tell him I need a break. A break from changing diapers, or from being the bartender at the milk bar or the soother in chief. A break from carrying the car seat on errands or setting up the stroller and going grocery shopping. When he first went back to work, I thought to myself – here I am, a college educated person who can’t figure out how to work a car seat — (and don’t even get me started on baby carriers) and I would cry.

The truth about maternity leave is it isn’t a vacation – not by a long stretch. It can be lonely and tiring and hard and if you are feeling that way, that’s A-OK. If there are some days you can’t wait for your partner to get home so you can get a break, that’s A-OK too.

Because here’s the other truth about maternity leave: I’ve had an amazing time watching this teeny newborn that I pushed out start to grow into a tiny infant. I’ve had 12 weeks to take her to new moms groups and story hour and music time. I’ve shopped with her myself and taken her into work a few times. I’ve snuggled with her and cried with her and played on the play mat with her. I’ve watched her smile when it hasn’t just been gas and I’ve made up silly songs. I’ve taken her on walks with Big Brother Tucker and yes – we’ve watched a lot of Bravo. Every day might not be a great day, but there’s great things about every day.

I so wish that the US would pass paid leave laws because I’m also aware that so many moms and dads don’t get to have the full experience of maternity leave I did – and frankly, my leave came with some sacrifices as well.

So now that work is getting closer and closer, I’ll have a new chapter to start. One that is also terrifying to me and will require some adjustment…but I think this will make me appreciate my time with her even more than I do now. However, with some more time to go before that next chapter starts, I’m off for some more baby (and Tucker) cuddles.

 

Baby Mama!

Welllll it’s been awhile!

It’s been an interesting year for Tucker -he’s now a big brother to a little precocious baby girl who was born in July. While they say dog’s sense pregnancy, I’m not exactly sure that was true with Tucker until about 6 weeks before Magnolia was born. Anyway, I do believe that being  a dog mom has helped me with Magnolia, though yes, I admit it didn’t prep me that great (the car seats, the snaps on the onesies, the carriers…things I didn’t have to deal with for a puppy). Tucker has been great and Magnolia is a terrific baby…an the other night I thought, hey! I have a fair amount to say – maybe I’ll write a few blog posts! Here’s the thing though…

my baby has major FOMO during the day. I am blessed blessed blessed that she sleeps well at night…but during the day, naps are hit or miss…so when they happen, I frantically run around the house getting things done before she wakes up…or I’m napping too. And then some of the ideas I’ve had for posts go magically out of my brain. Yes, pregnancy brain is real and so is mom brain.

That being said, I am going to write a few things…and yes, Tucker will be featured prominently as well from time to time, but he’s been busy being a big brother, so you’ll excuse him if he doesn’t get in his posts…

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